Your Birth Story: Part 2

Dear Charlotte,

Your Birth Story: Part 1

Once mommy's doctors had determined that we were going to induce labor on Thursday, December 15 at 7pm, the days and nights became a waiting game. I recall every night going to bed telling your dad that "tonight could be the night!" I kept hoping that you would come out on your own. I didn't want you to feel rushed or forced to come out when you weren't ready, but on the other hand I also understood the need for you to be on the outside where doctors could better monitor you. I was also anxious about the labor part and equally excited to meet you after all those months of knowing you from the inside.

On doctor's orders to eat a final good meal, not knowing how long labor would last and being told I wouldn't get to eat again until you were here... daddy took mommy to a lunch buffet that Thursday afternoon. We got home around 4pm and sat around the house waiting and staring at the clock. We had instructions to call the labor and delivery unit at 5pm to inquire about room availability. Mommy's doctor didn't want us to show up and not have a room ready only to be told to go home. Daddy commented that it was like waiting on a hotel room. Good thing we listened to the doctor, because when we called at 5pm the charge nurse told us to call back at 7pm and that our induction would most likely be pushed back to 9pm. With the extra wait time, daddy decided to take a quick nap while mommy watched "Gnomeo & Juliet" on Netflix. Daddy woke up from his nap around 6pm and decided he was hungry again. He made himself some instant noodles and then had a bowl of cereal after that. Looking back, I should have eaten something with him, but at that point I was too excited and anxious to even think about food. And to be honest, I only half-watched "Gnomeo & Juliet".

At 7pm we called the hospital again and they told us to come on in at 9pm. I then called your Grandmom who was on standby and told her we were leaving for the hospital at 8:15pm so that she could also get ready. Once we gathered all of our last minute things, I was rushing daddy out the door. Grandmom met us by our car and off to the hospital we went.

[Here's the door sign to our hospital room.]

After leaving the car with valet, we went up the elevator to the labor and delivery floor. After signing in at the check-in desk where daddy and Grandmom got visitor badges, we were shown to our room where we would be staying for the next 4 days. As far as hospital rooms go, this one was a decent size and was nicely furnished. It was modern and pretty comfortable which we were thankful for during our extended stay. We were very happy that we chose to go with this hospital after touring some of our other options.

Before we had the chance to get too settled in, we were introduced to mommy's nurse for the night, Therilyn, who became one of my favorite nurses during our stay (we had a new nurse with every shift change (every 12 hours) and must've had a total of at least 8 nurses who were all great, but Therilyn was with us during the peak of mommy's labor and for that I am grateful to her). After changing into a hospital gown, Therilyn started me on an IV saline-drip, hooked mommy up on a fetal heartbeat monitor, and since my blood pressure was rising, said she would take a BP measurement every 15 minutes so I might as well keep the itchy velcro wrap thing on my arm. Little did I know, changing into that hospital gown would be the last time I would leave that hospital bed until you were born.

By this time it was 9:30pm and daddy told me to "hold out" until past midnight because we wanted you to be a morning baby. Both daddy and I are morning babies and morning babies born to morning parents are especially lucky in life (?) or so the Asian superstition/belief goes. I gave him a LOOK (the first of many, lol). He seemed to think that since your aunt Lieu had a fast delivery with your cousin Mason that so would I. This was soooo not the case.

By 10pm Therilyn came back with another IV-bag and said she had orders from Dr. S to go ahead and start me on pitocin (the labor-inducing hormone aka mommy's worse enemy). She started the dose at 2 and said we'll be cranking it up every 20 minutes and see how the baby's heart rate handles it. By 10:40pm, we were up to 6. I was definitely feeling the contractions now but it was still manageable. I was still able to talk through them and even watch a little bit of television. I would say my pain level was probably a solid 3.

[Mommy happily oblivious to what is to come.]

By 11:30pm, we were at level 8 on the pitocin drip and suddenly my pain level went from tolerable to toe-curling. The change in pain level was almost instantaneous. I would say from an uncomfortable 3 to a 5-6 on the pain scale. But still, I tried to be brave and not cry out, after all women all over the world do this every day, right? But then Therilyn came in and I knew she was going to crank it up again. The contractions were coming really fast now with very little breaks in between. It was agony. I could no longer be a quiet martyr. Now I knew why they gave women wooden sticks to chomp on in the old days. It was dreadful and teeth clenching. I'm almost surprised I have any teeth left with the way my jaw was clenched from the pain. But I kept telling myself that this was all going to be worth it. That the pain was doing something and I would rather be the one in pain than you.

About half past midnight, Therilyn came back in to check on me. At this point we were at level 12 on the pitocin drip. She said she wanted to check to see if I had progressed in the past 3 hours. I held my breath as she checked, thinking I have to be at least 5cm dilated for all those contractions and pain I had gone through. I was hopeful that we were at least halfway there. Finished with her exam, Therilyn gave me a crestfallen look and told me the bad news. I hadn't progressed at all. I was still stuck at the 1cm and 0% effacement that I was in when we first arrived at the hospital. I was incredulous. How could all that pain not have gotten us anywhere? I really felt like crying. And that's when Therilyn patted me on the shoulder and said "hey, these things take time.."

At 1am, Therilyn came back with another IV-bag. She said she was putting me on a penicillin drip ordered by Dr. S to combat a potential virus to the baby. At this point I already had two IVs going, what was another? What I didn't expect was the immediate burning sensation that came with the penicillin. So on top of contractions that were coming in every 2-minutes, the shivers from the saline drip, the itchiness from the BP velcro thing on my left arm (and not to mention the annoying "circulation-cutting squeeze" from it every 15 minutes), I was now feeling a stinging sensation through my right arm. I asked Therilyn about it and she said all these sensations were normal. And then she gave me the most hilarious instruction..."I'm going to dim the lights, try to get some sleep." Yeah, right.

[Pasty-faced mommy, you, and nurse Therilyn.]

Sometime after 2am, Therilyn came back in and gave me my reprieve. She said she was going to turn off the pitocin drip for an hour or so. Thinking she was giving me a much needed break, I began to express my gratitude, but then she explained that the baby was not tolerating the hormone and that your heart rate was all over the place. Her exact words were: "we're pissing your baby off, so we're going to turn off the pitocin and see if her heart rate goes back to normal." I was numb with concern for your well-being and could all but nod. Daddy and I exchanged a look across the dimly lit room and Grandmom came over and rubbed my leg since both my arms were hooked up to IVs or monitors. With the pitocin drip off, I was finally able to get some shut eye. 

Shortly after 3am, Therilyn came back in to check on me and said she was going to reacquaint me with my enemy: the pitocin. She said your heart rate had stabilized so they were going to try to induce again. She started me out at 4 and said this time we were going to be a little more aggressive and asked if I wanted the epidural. This is when your Grandmom spoke up and said "no, she doesn't want that." I'm glad Grandmom said something because I don't think I had the willpower to say no.

Skip ahead to 5am, the pitocin drip was on at level 20 and I was literally writhing and clawing the bed railings in tears. The contractions were so bad that I'm sure I was moaning and groaning loud enough for them to hear me from the nurses' station. So much for being a quiet trooper. Therilyn asked me again if I wanted the epidural and each time Grandmom was there to tell her "no, she doesn't." Part of me wanted to beg for them to take the pain away, but another part of me wanted to do it naturally. In that moment I wasn't sure which voice was louder, my body or my mind. Therilyn assured me that nobody would think less of me if I asked for the epidural. I told her in between gasps from a strong contraction that I knew. She then told me I had other options for pain medications and I asked her if they had any affects to the baby. She told me that yes, the baby would be a little drowsy. I immediately told her no, I didn't want it then. I wanted the baby to come out with every advantage in the world, I wasn't about to take that away from her because of my inability to handle pain. Plus with you already diagnosed as being smaller I didn't want you to not be alert when you entered the world. My mind was made up and I'm glad your Grandmom was there to support my decision.

[Your Grandmom was all smiles when we first got to the hospital. 10+ hours later I know it was hard for her to see her child in pain.]

A little before 7am, Therilyn said she was going to examine me again for progress. I knew this time that the pain had to have done something. I just KNEW. She checked me and quietly said she'd be back and quickly left the room before I could ask her anything. About 15 minutes later in walked Dr. S who gave me the worse, unexpected news. After 10+ hours of labor, I had not progressed AT ALL. I was still at 1cm dilated and 0% effacement and on top of that your heart rate was starting to fluctuate again. Dr. S said we were going to turn off the pitocin drip since it was causing me unnecessary pain with zero results. She said we were going to try one last thing and if it doesn't work then she's going to have to go in and get you out by cesarean. Therilyn was also in the room and handed Dr. S a strange looking tube-like instrument. Dr. S explained that it was a Foley bulb catheter which is like a balloon that they were going to insert and try to mechanically open the cervix. She said if this works then get ready to push. Once inserted, Dr. S said we were going to give it one-hour to work and in that time instructed me to try and get some rest because I'll need it to push. With that, both she and Therilyn left the room. Grandmom came over and stroked my hand and feet concerned etched on her face which the dimly lit room couldn't hide. Your dad sat numbly across from the bed in silence. In that moment we were all quietly hoping for the same thing, please God, let this work so that we wouldn't have to go with the C-section.

Phew. Going in I knew I wanted to tell your birth story with as much detail as possible, but who knew it would be this long? I will take a break and continue this in Part 3.

Your Birth Story: Part 3